2 min read

21. "Her sister is like a lifeline to her"

Family can be a verb.
21. "Her sister is like a lifeline to her"

You're reading The Ponder, and I'm Devin. Welcome! This is where I share loosely-related snippets from what I'm reading in an attempt to find meaning and connection.

"Her artwork had been its own megaphone: the years of tormenting anonymity had been worth it; her twenties were worth it; every time she spoke to her parents and they asked how 'her little art hobby' was going; every time she spoke with her older brother, who somehow always reminded her of his MBA, his mortgage, his fiscal success, by simply inquiring if it was time to 'get a job and mitigate her struggles.' (Family members always knew the routes to our most delicate wounds.)" – Joshua Mohr, DAMASCUS (out of print but can be found on Thriftbooks & other used book shops)

"She doesn't love anything more than water, except maybe her sister's face. Sometimes, at night, she smooths the crease between her sister's brows when she has bad dreams, as she has often since the tanks come. And her sister gently traces the cavities in her ear to help her go to sleep when her eyes stay open too late because she's afraid of mortar shells. Her sister is like a lifeline to her. Two girls, twinning themselves alive." – Lidia Yuknavitch, from the short story The Pull in VERGE (Read the full story at LitHub)

"The basic interdependency of life is ignored so that separateness and individual gain can be deified." – bell hooks, ALL ABOUT LOVE

"Owen didn't want to talk about fathers, felt too old to possess such a calloused grudge against his old man, but sometimes our rusted memories maintained their extraordinary architecture." – Joshua Mohr, DAMASCUS

Family can be a verb. Just like love can be a verb. We can family each other if we try. Even though 'try' is a word weaker than what I mean. If we are willing to extend ourselves "for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth" (M. Scott Peck quoted by bell hooks in ALL ABOUT LOVE.) Knowing the map of someone's hurt and not abusing that knowledge is rare, if we look out at the news. Yet, we can choose differently and be a safe place for the hurt of those we love.

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